英语笑话听力
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you‘re the father of twins."
"What a coincidence!" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."
The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You, sir, are the father of triplets."
"Wow, that‘s really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down."
An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.
"Don‘t tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse.
After finally regaining his composure, he said, "I don‘t believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody‘s attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.
The nurse asked, "Sir, are you all right?"
"Yes" says the man, "I‘m o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store."
英语笑话听力: Paintingshowsitall
At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.
"What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed.
"What painter?"
"The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work‘."
"Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren‘t working at all!"
"That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"
英语笑话听力:Newchemicalwarfare
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That‘s easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
-
「推荐」人生哲理笑话故事
1、瞎子打灯笼­一个盲人到亲戚家做客,天黑后,他的亲戚好心为他点了个灯笼,说:天晚了,路黑,你打个灯笼回家吧!盲人火冒三丈地说:你明明知道我是瞎子,还给我打个灯笼照路,不是嘲笑我吗?他的亲戚说:你犯了局限思考的错误了。你在路上走,许多人也在路上走,你打着灯笼,别人可...
-
恶搞名著幽默笑话
恶搞名著幽默笑话:悟空,你应该和这位施主一样的胸怀宽广,辽阔,丰满,捏起来还软软的,这样为师睡觉就还睡得好些了。。。---唐僧淫笑道更多精彩笑话尽在本站笑话栏目,欢迎欣赏!篇一:恶搞名著幽默笑话1、最难找的人:只在此山中,云深不知处。贾岛《寻隐者不遇》2、最值钱的书...
-
冷的有点恐怖的冷笑话
1、相公,就寝吧。聂小倩吹灭了蜡烛。不行!宁采臣一下从床上坐了起来,说道:谢谢你娘子,我突然有了灵感,决定要写一本书。于是他提笔在纸上写上书名:鬼吹灯。2、男子刚看完电影回家,路过一片小树林时,只听他神经质的学着电影中主角的台词,大喝一声:不要再藏着了,我早就发现...
-
大赞,超搞笑小笑话
1、时代不同了,男女都一样二十年前,这句话讲的是生育观念;二十年后,这句话却变成了择偶观念…2、法官大人,我真的不知道她是怎么死的!我只知道我把她埋下去时她还活着啊!3、一个有良心的人,就算喝水塞了牙缝,也不忘挖井人。4、上厕所忘了带纸,感觉很忧伤,一个小...