短篇英语笑话大全 笑破你的肚子

1、Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉."

2、Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?

妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

3、The first time a pig tastes bacon.

当猪第一次尝到培根。

Seriously! This is so good! Now I understand why they kill us ! It makes so much sense!

说真的这太好吃了!现在我理解为什么他们要宰我们了，这样才有意义。

4、Teacher: Would you rather have one half ofan orange or five tenths?

老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?

Gerald:I'd much rather have the half.

杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

Teacher:Think carefully, and tell me why.

老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

Gerald:Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

5、Son:Is ink so very expensive, father?

儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗?

Father:Why, son, what makes you think so?

父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想?

Son:. Mother seems quite disturbed because I

spilled some on the carpet.

儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

6、Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

Bartender: "That should make you happy."

The man: "No, the month is up today!"

一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。

酒吧招待："你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?"

男人："我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。"

酒吧招待："那你应该高兴才是啊!"

男人："不，今天是这个月的最后一天。"